can't do the pots, hot water is off. 

first challenge of a new year ahead, i turned around, repacked the pots from the bowl and just accepted defeat. i guess it's a pot noodle for lunch if we don't have enough pots for food later.  

more coffee is gonna be needed.

during my little walk i definitely felt a sense that in all the years that i've just coasted along that this year was important not too. like it had a certain amount of providence attached to it. like it was something to be respectful of, like i should live it full like it was my last even if it was'nt.

to set myself up, us up, for what's next, whatever that looked like, not certain if it was a turning point kinda vibe or just something that needed to be acknowledged, regardless it's been in my front of brain for the last month.

ignore these things at your folly.

coming out of the haze of the pandemic, looking around and seeing what's left standing, those were some hard years that left big deep emotional scars of distance and at times loneliness.

while i think we all dealt with those things in different ways i know that there was this massive chasm of time that was lost that we all seem to be aware of that we don't talk of, we allow just to exist there, everything seems like catchup.

to make more of the time, to utilize it well, to have and to live a good solid life with the time allocated to us.  i certainly feel like the mouse in the tub of butter trying to spin up things at thousands of rpm just to churn the shit out of that butter to get out (catch me if ya can reference)

in recent years i've not been driven by incremental wealth or the desire to level up in the status/class tree. that all seems quite backwards especially when you see how the planet and our species is so rapidly and blindly limiting ourselves. the one step forward, two steps back comes to mind.

i can't just gorge and keep going, things have to have purpose, they have to add up to something bigger than the sum of the parts. i want to do more things that give me and those around me joy passed the material and the physical. maybe it's a more religious, deeper experience i seek.

acknowledgement of where i am and how i luckily got here. it's a big thing to reflect on. the love of others, the consideration and kindness of others, the part you play, the part you play for them. it's way more than just acquiring this and flipping that.

i gotta feel that purpose in my soul, deep down, out of sight but always murmuring at me to take note of it.  no matter how much turkish meat i consumed last night at the new years dinner to satisfy, the yearning for a deeper satiated feeling passed the meta physical.

a lot of people will be in recovery mode today, planning, hoping, changing for the year ahead based on the back of how they have felt in the last month alone.

i did not want to appear to waste the first day of the year, even tomorrow, it's a public holiday on the 2nd of january, taking two days out from not starting seems a lot.  i needed to write and start, to get going.

being the true capricorn that i am i have a lot of hobbies and interests that i've seemingly done half heartedly over the last few years. i'd like to get back to doing them in my fullest. without slight or concern if they positivity toxic or not (like really, that's a thing now?)

i wanna keep it positive and not negative.

it's so easy to fall into the rut and hole that is the negativity of the world we consume around us in snippet format. the way we project our imagination on the quick fire content we consume. parking our ideals and urge for life based on the agreeability of finding solace in a social media clip.

there are so many things to play with out there.

we have turned a corner, ai will have a massive year, it's gonna be a cornerstone to the things we do as humans interacting with real time digital technology. forget just the chintzy vr & ar experience.

consider the real time cloud, systems doing heavy lifting, automation, reacting to your analog meat sack requirements while you sleep.

this is a year of ai and systems.

building prompts and connecting firehoses of information and data together that fit with our day to day activity. productivity and time management will become cornerstone to living an efficient life reacting in real time to market conditions as the world get's harder to live in.

there will be lots to be negative about and we have to be resilient to that, less asleep and hopefully at the wheel. more up front and controlling the rudder of our lives to steer around these wake like flows as they wash over and around us.

in many ways i hope i don't have too much time to think about the rest of the year like i am today. i'm primed mentally to be focused and busy. not busy work but stuff that makes me feel that it adds value to me and my loved ones. that i'm pushing the needle forward and not fumbling in the gearbox of life trying to get our of reverse.

i'm excited to have a new blog, a new space to write, i'm excited to play with new social networks, new tools, new applications, that i can create and generate intention and financial rewards (hopefully) from that allow me my day to day and monthly aspirations.

but more than any of that i have my yearly energy injection of a fresh year, fresh birthday month energy with the deployment of stepping into my quinquagenarian years.

it's an immense feeling.

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